My Miracle is here...

On 19th April 2017, I and husband arrived hospital on 6.30 AM. Directly went to delivery room and waited nurse for last checked up. Nurses came in, asked me to change, checked my blood pressure (which is a bit higher because I am so nervous), put microlax in me to push out the bladder (ouchh it's really hurt!) and USG listening to my baby's heartbeat. Yes, the last heartbeat USG in mommy's tummy and I couldn't wait to hear my baby's heartbeat from my ears.

My papa and mama arrived not long after that, asking me whether I am okay. I felt really not good (because of microlax) and nervous. I was trembling. I asked my husband to hold my cold hands. Anddd, nurses came in again to bring me to operating room. Luckily, doctor allowed my husband to witness my delivery.

When I was outside the operating room waiting for doctor, they didn't allow my husband to go inside first. My anesthetist came and said hello to me. Holding my hands and talk to me. He knows I was nervous and laugh at me. He said it's okay, all will be fine and said good luck to me.

Going inside the operating room, it's really cold. I can't see clearly because they didn't allow me to wear any contact lenses or glasses. After I stopped below the big-with so many-lamps (I don't know what it named), I looked around. Doctor has not arrived yet. But there were some nurses walked and prepared all the delivery things. They listened to Maroon 5 songs, man! Haha! And it made me a bit relaxed.

My anesthetist came in and asked me to sit down. Caesarean birth is not that easy like what people think. He saw my tattoo on my back and spelled it out. I laugh nervously. Then he injected the epidural inside my lower back. Really hurt! I told you it's hurt a lot. Then he asked me to back to sleep position and I slowly can't feel my feet. They tied my both hands, one for blood pressure checking and one to avoid my hand moved.

I waited around 10 minutes until my doctor came in. He said hi to me, and asked me whether I am ready. I said yes. And he asked nurses to call my husband. Inside the operating room, doctor and nurses told jokes. But I didn't (want) to hear what they were saying, just hoping my husband to came in soon. I don't know but I think it's too long, at last my husband came in. Nurse told doctor that my husband is here, and doctor instructed to start the surgery.

My husband directly recorded the process, and touch my cheek to calm me. I heard noises but I don't care. I watched my blood came out and pumping besides me. I was blank and dizzy because of the anesthetic. Then I heard my doctor said "PUSH!" Suddenly my anesthetist besides me pushed my tummy several times. I felt so terribly shocked but then I felt something came out from my tummy and made me feel so free and light. I couldn't see anything but I saw my baby was taken to other place. Pediatrician took my baby and called my husband. I only saw my baby hands swinging while they took them.

Not long, I heard my baby cried! Yes, my baby is here! I cried, could not stop crying. My anesthetist asked me not to cry, and wiped my tears. I heard the pediatrician said loud to my husband, "Your little baby boy was born, normal and complete, length 49 cm, weight 2.7 kg." I said to myself, hey, my baby is so small eh?

My husband came to see me and said, "Hey honey, our baby boy is so handsome!" I laughed and nurse came to let me see my baby. Oh my baby has stopped crying, eye closed but I can see his red lips. I kissed him and cried again. Nurse told me that she had to bring out my baby to clean him. Then, I felt relaxed and nothing I could remember. I think I fell asleep.

I was conscious when nurse pulled me out of operating room. I asked her whether all is going smooth. She smiled and said yes. She put me on a room beside operating room and my husband came. His face was full of happiness. He told me everything happened before and after surgery. And couldn't stop to tell me about

Few minutes later, nurses brought me out and I saw all my family there. They were so happy and said my baby is so cute. I asked them when they see my baby? Nurse brought my baby to let them see before going to baby room. Oh, I felt relief.

In my room, they tried to moved me to my bed, but I couldn't feel and moved my legs. I waited my baby to came to my room until noon time. He came in, so tiny and I had to see him closely even I couldn't move my body. He was sleeping, didn't open his eyes. I called his name, he even didn't move. My sleepyhead.


Needed around 1.5 days so I could move my body. On the first day, nurse keep asking me to move my body. It's really hurt to moved my body. I never felt this hurt before, worst when I was coughing. (Damn!)

On the second day, nurse told me to try to sat and walked. I still could feel all my body didn't cooperative as well. Luckily doctor said all was good and the stitches was drying well. And at last I could carry my baby on my arms. I could smell and touch his soft skin. He opened his eyes when I first carried him. He looked at me with his small eyes and I fell in love with him once again, again and again.

This is like what everyone says, having a baby is a miracle. 💓

My Pregnancy Journey

OMG, it's already more than 1 year I didn't blog.
Yes, now I am a mom! Haha! Busy? YES!

At the first time I didn't know that I was pregnant since I found my period is coming. But then, my period stopped the next day. I thought it will come again tomorrow. And yes, it came. Then stopped.

I googled about the beginning of pregnancy things, you could have some blood spots. So, I and husband decided to buy two test pack. I read that you should test it in the morning. After tested, we found that the line was blur, then we took new test pack, tested again one more time the next day and result remained the same. I googled again. Lol. Mr. Google said it can be blurred if the pregnancy is too young.

Aargh, I and husband were so happy and decided to go to Obstetrician to make sure about it.

Andddd.. Obstetrician said I am pregnant!!!

My husband took really a good care of me while I was pregnant. I were not allowed to do house things, brought my bags and drove car slowly. Luckily, I didn't have morning sickness or high demand of food. Haha...

Suddenly on my 8 weeks pregnant, I had bleeding at night while I was watching TV. We both were shocked and called my obstetrician directly. My obstetrician asked me whether I and husband did intercourse, fell down or had some medicines, I said no. My obstetrician told me to came early morning to the hospital.

I couldn't sleep and keep crying. I thought that I could lose my baby. In the morning when I peed, I saw some blood clots came out. I was hysterical and told my husband. I decided to take blood clots with me to the hospital. On the way I was so nervous, the same with my husband. His face was really shocked and worried.

We have to wait around half an hour because we arrived hospital so early and my doctor has not come yet.
When doctor came, his face was so tense when seeing us, maybe he knew that we were still so shocked. My husband showed my blood clots to doctor and doctor smiled, said it's not embryo, just a blood clots. Then doctor did the USG, and searching for baby's heartbeat. He found it and smiled, here, your little baby's heartbeat. I almost cried but happy. Then doctor said, BUT. I and husband stopped smiling. "Your embryo is almost fell down to cervix. You have to be careful and bed rest for 1 week. You have to try to keep this baby and I will give you booster. And hope your baby could stay inside." Doctor said it's 50:50 that I could keep this baby. He gave me Cygest 400mg and some medicines. My husband calmed me down and we went to my mom's house.

My mom's told me to stay with her during my pregnancy, so she could take more care of me and my husband agreed.

Five days later, I got bleeding again. This time was a lot more than the first time. I was so scared and called my husband from office. My husband hastily came home and brought me to hospital.

Doctor directly did the USG and gave us a good news. "It's okay now, baby's heartbeat is so good and embryo is going up!" I couldn't help myself not to cry. But there was a "BUT" again. He said, "Your condition is so rare. Embryo is still lying there and can't go up anymore. Placenta will stay there but baby will still going up. It's okay about that, you should have check up every two weeks from now. We will monitor your baby growth. If you got bleeding again, don't be shocked. Looked carefully of the blood, whether it's only blood or got some baby's tissue with clot. If only blood, it's okay, just take a rest. You will be more bleeding often if your embryo position stays like this." Doctor said I have to take more rest and still took the medicines every day.

Still feel not really comfort and scared about my embryo, I took really good care about my baby and talked to my baby, "Hey there my little munchkin, you have to stay there and keep strong. I know you can do it." I walked slowly, sit slowly and tried not to bring heavy things. Every two weeks we checked up and USG, and when I heard my baby's heartbeat, and it's my music to calm and made me happy. Haha, did I so overact?

Few weeks later after I went back to work and I walked around mall (Why I did that? Sigh..), I got bleeding again. But this time I was not so shocked and tried to calm down. I sat down and try to drink a lot of water (Is drinking water could wash out the blood? Lol. It's only to make me more relaxed). And the bleeding stopped not long after that.

Weeks 20, we are ready to hear whether I am having baby boy or girl. Doctor found and confirmed it's a BOY. Oh my little baby was a boy, no wonder he was so active inside there and almost fell down? Haha...

Doctor told me that I could not having a normal birth since my baby's placenta lying down low in the uterus, covering my servix (placenta previa). You can read about placenta previa here. I have to do Caesar surgery to help me smooth delivery. Nothing I could say much and a bit disappointed. But I believe everything I have to do it for my baby.

I felt his first kick around weeks 23 when I was on the car and on the way home listening to radio. I felt the little movement inside my tummy, and it's so tickling. I screamed out and told my husband. I touched and pushed back. Few weeks later, I could really feel his kicks. I always pushed back his kick to let him know I was playing with him too.

My baby boy was growing so well, but his weight was not gain much. I ate three times a day, and I only ate fruits (kiwi, dragon fruit, avocado, apple) when I was hungry. I always ate healthy food, avoid anything raw or grilled. Sometimes I ate KFC too. Haha... For fruits, I tried to avoid papaya, pineapples, pears, melon, and orange. I did googling all the time to know what is the best food for my baby's growth. Some people told me to eat whatever I wanted and eat a lot. But I didn't have any appetite to eat a lot and tried not to eat what is (I said) not good for my baby. As long as my baby is healthy, I don't want my baby to have heavy weight and chubby when he was still in my tummy.

When my last semester, I found myself hard to breathe, fast heartbeat and my bounce is not so well. I did the check up with doctor and he told me to do blood test since the symptoms is showing like I am having goiter. The test showed all is normal and fine. My doctor said this might be I ate too fast and ate a lot. I agreed with the first reason, but not the second. Lol.

The time was so close, and we decided to let me gave birth on 19th April. We told doctor and we did the hospital booking. But a week before my delivery date, my doctor told me that he could not help me for delivery because he has service out of town. He recommended me other doctor (his senior). OMG, I was so shocked since I was never looking for other doctor for checked up. My doctor gave his notes to his senior about my condition, what medicine I ate so far. The next day, I went to this senior doctor and luckily he was friendly and discussed well.

My pregnancy was not easy, I know for sure all moms felt the same too.